This is my first attempt at writing a narrative I can remember, since college in 1982. I would appreciate any constructive criticism you care to offer. I think it's finished, but please comment with any ideas/advice.
Thanks in advance;
Mark
Kindolura the Whale Shark
Hi, my name is Kindolura, but you can call me “Kindo” because all my friends do. I hope we can be friends after this little anecdote I am going to relate. I am a whale shark and at 45 feet long and 15 tons, the largest fish species on earth. In the ocean nothing much scares me because of my size and this is where my modest tale begins.
I was just swimming around the ocean last month, just looking for a little snack because my tummy was rumbling and when my tummy rumbles the whole ocean shakes ha-ha-ha. Enough about my rumbling tummy, it’s time I get on with my story. As I was saying before I started thinking about food. I was swimming around the ocean (looking for food, of course) when I felt a tug on my tail. I looked over my left fin and saw nothing. I looked over my right fin and there was nothing there either, so I started forward again. There was another tug on my tail so I sloooowly (I am so big it takes a long time for me to turn) turned around and could see my tail. I saw something that shouldn’t be there so I started to shriek.
Taking into consideration I’m really large, opening my mouth creates an enormous gap that almost anything could go in. As I was turning and screaming I heard a familiar voice blaring back at me. I opened my eyes (I close them when I’m scared) and saw my best friend Whitey the great white shark. Anyways, as we both were screaming, I noticed that I was getting closer and closer to him with my mouth wide open. Whitey saw it too which is why he was screaming. I started to close my mouth, but it was far too late. Whitey had slipped into my mouth with the rushing water. I could still hear him screaming, but now he was hollering for me to let him out. I looked at my tail and noticed the marks he left with his many teeth. I decided the time was right to teach Whitey not pick on someone bigger than he is.
Since Whitey required a lesson, I started to swim trying to ignore his piercing yelping. Swimming is quite hard with someone yelping inside your mouth. Have you ever had something screaming at the top of its lungs inside your mouth? I hope you haven’t because it sure is loud coming from inside there. It echoes like when you yell down an empty hole or a well and it gives you a very bad headache. I had to take two extra-extra strong aspirins to get rid of headache he gave me. Did you get it, heh-heh, the biggest fish on earth and extra-extra strong aspirins? I guess it is mostly fish humor so it is ok if you didn’t understand.
OK, back to the story. As I was saying, Whitey was screaming like crazy in my mouth, not because he was scared that I would swallow him, but because he is scared of the dark. I know what you’re thinking. How can a shark be scared of the dark? Well, we are like you in some ways. We have feelings; we get scared of things that we don’t understand. He kept on screaming and hollering for me to let him out until he lost his voice. The only reason I knew he lost his voice was because it got really quiet. When it went quiet, I decided to open my mouth and let him out. He came out crying, so I asked him what was wrong. Whitey told me that while he was screaming and wiggling in my mouth he lost a tooth.
Now, not many young people know that most sharks have 5 rows of teeth, and if one is lost it’s replaced by one from the next row. Since a new tooth grows in last row of teeth, sharks never run out of teeth. I told Whitey to stop crying and that a new one would replace it soon. He said he knew that, but until then there would be a space between his teeth. He was concerned that his friends would laugh at him. I asked him to open his mouth, but he refused. Since he was being uncooperative, I made him yell again by pinching his fin. As soon as he yelled, I looked in his mouth. I really, really, wanted to laugh at the space between his teeth. I bit my lip and told him it didn’t look so bad. He said it did so and that his friends would laugh at him. I told him that I was his friend and I wasn’t laughing. He looked at me to see if I was trying not to laugh. I tried looking like I wasn’t holding back the laughter. Luckily, he believed me. Thank goodness, because if he didn’t believe me there would have been no stopping the tears. Whitey’s teeth are very sharp strong teeth, but mine are bristles that trap tiny fish so I rarely lose a tooth.
While we were talking, Whitey smiled and I saw the new tooth had already moved into the gap replacing the lost one. I laughed and said Whitey your tooth is back! He started to swim swiftly around me, joyfully. At that point, I asked him why he tugged on my tail in the first place. He said he just wanted to have some fun and didn’t realize it would scare me so. I told Whitey that I’ve been very jumpy since I experienced an up close surprise involving a boat.
That was a scary thing. I was swimming along minding my own business and looking for food, of course. I happened to look up and saw this long white thing. At first, I thought it was Whitey, but it didn’t have his tail. I swam closer to it and it was making this funny humming noise from its backside. I got a little closer and saw that what should be a tail was spinning and humming.
No sharks or fish that I know make that kind of noise or move their tail like that, so I started to turn around. Being slow in my movements the boat was a little faster then I was and it hit my dorsal fin as it went by me. Needless to say I never went that close to the surface again. You humans are dangerous when you are on those moving boats. Please when you’re out on the water, watch out other living creatures below you.
Thank you for listening to my little tale. It was fun to tell you. Remember to always keep smiling, even if you have a space between your teeth like Whitey had. Everyone has had that space at least once in their life. Now that we know each other a little I hope you will take the time to find out some more fun facts about sharks. The books you can get from your public library have many shark facts. If you look hard enough I bet you will see Whitey and I in some of the pictures they have. Don’t forget that we come in different sizes and sharps, so you can find out about all my friends and family.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
EDRG 3321 Entry 10
What is Historical Fiction?
Historical Fiction has a setting and scene set in the past. The settings and characters are historically accurate. The work may include real characters and places, but the main characters and stories are fictionalized.
How can we use it in the classroom?
In the classroom, Historical Fiction can be used in several ways. It can be used to bring time periods to life, enrich social studies lessons, allow students to examine past day to day life, and to integrate curriculum. Texts with characters the same age as the students allow them to identify with the characters and the time period involved. It can pique the students’ interest of a particular time period and bring history to life in the classroom. Students can also come to understand the problems faced by children during the time period the text relates to. When dealing with younger children picture books are the best type of historical fiction to use.
Historical Fiction has a setting and scene set in the past. The settings and characters are historically accurate. The work may include real characters and places, but the main characters and stories are fictionalized.
How can we use it in the classroom?
In the classroom, Historical Fiction can be used in several ways. It can be used to bring time periods to life, enrich social studies lessons, allow students to examine past day to day life, and to integrate curriculum. Texts with characters the same age as the students allow them to identify with the characters and the time period involved. It can pique the students’ interest of a particular time period and bring history to life in the classroom. Students can also come to understand the problems faced by children during the time period the text relates to. When dealing with younger children picture books are the best type of historical fiction to use.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
EDRG 3344 Bolg 9
Outline for Expository paper: Mark's Handy Dandy Guide to avoid Shark Attacks
HOW TO AVOID AN ATTACK
Poetry Example:
Casey at the Bat
From The Sporting News of January 20, 1906
by ERNEST LAWRENCE THAYER
(A Ballad of the Republic. Sung in the Year 1888).
The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day;
The score stood four to two with but one inning more to play.
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought if only Casey could but get a whack at that --
We'd put up even money now with Casey at the bat.
But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake.
And the former was a lulu and the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat.
For there seemed but little chance of Casey's getting to the bat.
But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despised, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Johnnie safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.
Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.
There was ease in Casey's manner as he stepped into his place,
There was pride in Casey's bearing and a smile on Casey's face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Casey at the bat.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey's eye, a sneer curled Casey's lip.
And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped --
"That ain't my style," said Casey. "Strike one," the umpire said.
From the benches, bleak with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm waves on a worn and distant shore.
"Kill him! Kill the umpire!" shouted someone in the stands,
And it's likely they'd have killed him had not Casey raised his hand.
With a smile of Christian charity great Casey's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it and the umpire said, "Strike two."
"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and the echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn't let that ball go by again.
The sneer is gone from Casey's lip, his teeth are clinched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's blow.
Oh! somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville -- mighty Casey has struck out.
I would use this entertaining ballad as a classroom introduction to poetry. It was my introduction to poetry during elementary school and almost 40 years later it still makes me smile. There are many different versions including numerous online videos, but I like the old fashion recital as the delivery method.
This poem uses the sport of baseball to inspire the emotions of hope and later dispair in the listener. It promotes the larger than life Casey as the ultimate hero who suffers failure at his biggest moment.
There are a number of classroom activities you could use with the poem:
From having students write down their impressions of the major characters to designing a headline for the Mudville sports pages.
Some activities can be found at: http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/curriculum/Socialstd/FT/Casey_Act.html
HOW TO AVOID AN ATTACK
- Stay away from the mouths of rivers after heavy rains
- Swim clear of fishing boats. They often trail fish remains and blood, which can draw sharks.
- If you're bleeding, including menstruating, stay on the beach.
- If you cut or injure yourself in the water, get out!
- Steer clear of fishers.
- Avoid large groups of fish, seals, or sea lions.
- Stay away if you see large groups of dolphins and seabirds.
- Stay away from dead animals in the water.
- Avoid areas where animal, human, or fish waste enter the water.
- Stay out of the water at dawn, dusk, and night.
- Avoid murky waters, harbor entrances, channels, and steep drop-offs.
- Do not wear high-contrast clothing (orange and yellow are said to be risky colors) or shiny jewelry (which may appear to be like fish scales).
- Refrain from excessive splashing.
- Keep pets, which swim erratically, out of the water.
- Leave the water quickly and calmly if a shark is sighted.
- Do not provoke, harass, or entice a shark, even a small one.
- If fish or turtles start to behave erratically, leave the water.
- If you feel something brush up against you, get out of the water to make sure that you have not been bitten.
- Swim, surf, or dive with other people.
- Don't wander too far from shore.
- If you are diving and are approached by a shark, stay as still as possible. If you are carrying fish or other catches, release the catch and quietly leave the area.
Resourse: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/pf/45299341.html
Poetry Example:
Casey at the Bat
From The Sporting News of January 20, 1906
by ERNEST LAWRENCE THAYER
(A Ballad of the Republic. Sung in the Year 1888).
The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day;
The score stood four to two with but one inning more to play.
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought if only Casey could but get a whack at that --
We'd put up even money now with Casey at the bat.
But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake.
And the former was a lulu and the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat.
For there seemed but little chance of Casey's getting to the bat.
But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despised, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Johnnie safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.
Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.
There was ease in Casey's manner as he stepped into his place,
There was pride in Casey's bearing and a smile on Casey's face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Casey at the bat.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey's eye, a sneer curled Casey's lip.
And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped --
"That ain't my style," said Casey. "Strike one," the umpire said.
From the benches, bleak with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm waves on a worn and distant shore.
"Kill him! Kill the umpire!" shouted someone in the stands,
And it's likely they'd have killed him had not Casey raised his hand.
With a smile of Christian charity great Casey's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it and the umpire said, "Strike two."
"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and the echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn't let that ball go by again.
The sneer is gone from Casey's lip, his teeth are clinched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's blow.
Oh! somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville -- mighty Casey has struck out.
I would use this entertaining ballad as a classroom introduction to poetry. It was my introduction to poetry during elementary school and almost 40 years later it still makes me smile. There are many different versions including numerous online videos, but I like the old fashion recital as the delivery method.
This poem uses the sport of baseball to inspire the emotions of hope and later dispair in the listener. It promotes the larger than life Casey as the ultimate hero who suffers failure at his biggest moment.
There are a number of classroom activities you could use with the poem:
From having students write down their impressions of the major characters to designing a headline for the Mudville sports pages.
Some activities can be found at: http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/curriculum/Socialstd/FT/Casey_Act.html
EDRG 3321 Blog 9
Super-sentence on Contemporary Realistic Fiction.
Contemporary Realistic Fiction Books have plots, characters, and settings, based on the problems, dilemmas, and ups and downs of life in today's world, engaging the reader because they may have or could face similar problems.
How can we use this genre in the classroom?
Contemporary Realistic Fiction can be used in the classroom in a number of ways. Children like reading about characters their own age because they can relate to them. Characters in these stories are likely to have similar interests and face similar problems to those faced by the reader. As the characters experience feelings and desires the readers can come to understand that their feelings are not unique and they are not alone in what they’re going through.
Reading about children overcoming problems can instill hope and help children overcome their own problems. Children coping with pent up emotion, anxiety, and fear can take some relief from stories with similar circumstances. Certain stories can make children realize the evils of abuse and bullying. It can open avenues for discussion allowing children can talk about their feelings. Contemporary Realistic Fiction can also provide children with hours of reading enjoyment through pleasure and escape.
Contemporary Realistic Fiction Books have plots, characters, and settings, based on the problems, dilemmas, and ups and downs of life in today's world, engaging the reader because they may have or could face similar problems.
How can we use this genre in the classroom?
Contemporary Realistic Fiction can be used in the classroom in a number of ways. Children like reading about characters their own age because they can relate to them. Characters in these stories are likely to have similar interests and face similar problems to those faced by the reader. As the characters experience feelings and desires the readers can come to understand that their feelings are not unique and they are not alone in what they’re going through.
Reading about children overcoming problems can instill hope and help children overcome their own problems. Children coping with pent up emotion, anxiety, and fear can take some relief from stories with similar circumstances. Certain stories can make children realize the evils of abuse and bullying. It can open avenues for discussion allowing children can talk about their feelings. Contemporary Realistic Fiction can also provide children with hours of reading enjoyment through pleasure and escape.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
EDRG 3321 Bolg 8
Extra Credit Poem
Ocean Hunter
My life is the hunt, my hunger endless, voracious, and vile.
My dorsal splitting the water is feared more than my toothy white smile.
My names’ Great White, Hammerhead, and Bull, foretell stoutness and guile.
My clan is born in countless different shapes, sizes, and forms.
We can hunt alone or in numbers as ravenous packs and swarms.
Sailors for centuries have feared me more than ocean storms.
I’ve been dreaded by those who traverse the sea for countless years.
In my era, I’ve witnessed more than a lifetime of sailors’ tears.
Featured in “Jaws,” I’m the entity of children’s scary nightmares.
I am shark, the most feared predator inthe deepest oceans blue.
Spotted by my prey they flee, but they know it’s time to bid adieu.
It’s only a matter of time before I have something juicy to chew.
My dorsal splitting the water is feared more than my toothy white smile.
My names’ Great White, Hammerhead, and Bull, foretell stoutness and guile.
My clan is born in countless different shapes, sizes, and forms.
We can hunt alone or in numbers as ravenous packs and swarms.
Sailors for centuries have feared me more than ocean storms.
I’ve been dreaded by those who traverse the sea for countless years.
In my era, I’ve witnessed more than a lifetime of sailors’ tears.
Featured in “Jaws,” I’m the entity of children’s scary nightmares.
I am shark, the most feared predator inthe deepest oceans blue.
Spotted by my prey they flee, but they know it’s time to bid adieu.
It’s only a matter of time before I have something juicy to chew.
EDRG 3344 Blog 8
What is a narrative? Explain the Components.
1. Narrative writing tells a story or part of a story. The story can be true or made up. It’s normally written in first person.
2. The story shows a sequence of events occurring over time. The length of time isn’t important, but provides for a sequence of events.
3. The narrative must contain a clear beginning, middle, and ending.
4. The story should be designed to appeal to an audience other than the writer.
Explain the Writer Workshop Experience.
1. Students are divided into groups of 3-5.
2. In turn one person at a time reads their work while the others listen. Their writing should be put away so they aren’t tempted to look at it until it’s their turn to read.
3. Following the student reading the others provide feedback using the “sandwich theory”. One at a time, the listeners make comments. The first comment is positive in nature stating what they liked about the work. The second is a question or suggestion designed to improve the writer’s work. The third comment should also be positive statement designed to help the writer. The comments should address word choice and character/events development.
4. After everyone has commented the next person in the groups reads their work and the steps repeat.
This workshop usually occurs while the works are in draft form and before the writer revises his paper.
Discuss the process and “sandwich theory”.
I thought the process worked really well in our classroom. Most of the comments about my story were positive and I felt my home group thought it was amusing to listen to. It also gave me a chance to reflect and focus my thoughts on the story allowing me to realize I didn’t have an adequate ending.
The “sandwich theory” method of critiquing a person’s work ensures that most of the comments are positive. It provides the writer with confidence and a peace of mind type feeling when sharing work with others. I think it’s important to try and keep critique positive especially when dealing with children and young adults.
1. Narrative writing tells a story or part of a story. The story can be true or made up. It’s normally written in first person.
2. The story shows a sequence of events occurring over time. The length of time isn’t important, but provides for a sequence of events.
3. The narrative must contain a clear beginning, middle, and ending.
4. The story should be designed to appeal to an audience other than the writer.
Explain the Writer Workshop Experience.
1. Students are divided into groups of 3-5.
2. In turn one person at a time reads their work while the others listen. Their writing should be put away so they aren’t tempted to look at it until it’s their turn to read.
3. Following the student reading the others provide feedback using the “sandwich theory”. One at a time, the listeners make comments. The first comment is positive in nature stating what they liked about the work. The second is a question or suggestion designed to improve the writer’s work. The third comment should also be positive statement designed to help the writer. The comments should address word choice and character/events development.
4. After everyone has commented the next person in the groups reads their work and the steps repeat.
This workshop usually occurs while the works are in draft form and before the writer revises his paper.
Discuss the process and “sandwich theory”.
I thought the process worked really well in our classroom. Most of the comments about my story were positive and I felt my home group thought it was amusing to listen to. It also gave me a chance to reflect and focus my thoughts on the story allowing me to realize I didn’t have an adequate ending.
The “sandwich theory” method of critiquing a person’s work ensures that most of the comments are positive. It provides the writer with confidence and a peace of mind type feeling when sharing work with others. I think it’s important to try and keep critique positive especially when dealing with children and young adults.
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